Rabi Al-Awwal 23, 1431
“And We write (in their book of deeds) that they send forth and their traces (which influence those who follow). And We have established a standard for computing it all in a clear record.”
Surah Ya Seen (Surah 36), verse 12
When you’re living alone, without the security of home, parents, friends, when the surroundings are unfamiliar, when the excitement of living independently blurs out any plausible downfalls you could have decided to be careful about… you get hurt the most. Every (emotional) wound pierces the heart more, every selfish act makes you cringe more, every cunning movement irritates you more; it’s quite an experience really, the kind that adds years to your personality without you realizing it. So everything a person “gives” you in your interaction with him/ her and every effect that it’ll cause is all there. In your mind… but more importantly, in the records with Him.
We are in an age where there’s so much technology, so many wires emanating from so many tiny gadgets, so many gadgets without wires, so many objects to charge, re-charge, what-not, so many to keep ourselves busy with, that we usually feel smug about the collective intelligence of our race. I mean we are all part of a huge community when it comes to how far we’ve come along, right? Right…
… So I was thinking, Allah has these records for us in a system that’s just there! I can’t see it, there are no wires involved, there’s no data loss nor breakdown, it’s not physical, it’s not speculative, it’s not abstract. What it is, is detailed to the point of absurdity as perceived by my brain. It accounts for all the emotional, physical and spiritual aspects of every one of my deeds. It accounts for the 6.8 billion of us occupying land as of now – all of us, all of our deeds! It stores info about the 106 billion people who’ve EVER lived on earth. It gets done simultaneously for all of us, and it gets done in an almost despicable detail… so in the end there’s nothing minor – everything’s getting fed to this machine that’s beyond our so-called intelligence. Every thing I do, every one of its domino effect, every one of its emotions involved? All are getting recorded. It’s like I’m under constant scrutiny but I can’t see the cameras, I can’t find the wires. I can’t pretend about what I do, I can’t cheat my way out , I can’t deceive those records, I can’t manipulate the wording of the records, I can’t be clever about what I show, what I hide, I can’t burn the records by paying anybody (I can, however, burn them by repenting and consequently submitting to Him) – EVERYTHING IS GETTING R E C O R D E D!!! In a software that’s so sophisticated it needs no upgrading. *sigh*
It almost made me laugh about the arrogance we show when we talk about the success we’ve experienced and what tremendous hurdles we’re crossing in making the world so much better! I mean, dude, first of all, He MADE you and everything that you truly admire, He GAVE you that intelligence that (a) you hardly use, and (b) feel so proud about… and as relevant to this post, He NOTICES and NOTES down the smiles you pass genuinely, the grudges you keep, the charity you give, the prayers you offer and the way you offer them, the work you put in at work, the way you treat your spouse, the pains you take for your children, the efforts you make to please Him, the time you waste, the water you save, the secret desires you have, the things you occupy yourselves with, the thoughts you voice, the thoughts you don’t, the way you treat your pets, the way you talk to your gardener, the miserliness you show, the generosity of your heart and your actions, the rocks you bother to pick up from the middle of the road so no one gets hurt, the food you especially make to give away to a needy person… I could go on and a part of me wants to, because it gives me a reality check about just how much scrutiny I’m under and how much this has been downplayed by the lazy one in me. I’m supposed to live with a purpose and it’s hardly a choice I have, I just have to… With a history of such carelessness and the expectation of acting irresponsibly from myself, I seriously wonder about how much I can contribute.