Rabi Al-Awwal 15, 1431
“When they embark on a vessel they plead to Allah being (with sincerity) purely of His religion. Then when We deliver them (safely) on the shore straightaway they commit shirk (associate others with Him in their gratefulness). So that they can ungratefully refuse to accept what We have given them; and so that they make full use of it. Then soon they will learn.”
Surah Al-Ankaboot (Surah 29), verses 65-66
When my exam season starts, I plead to Allah to help me remember and be able to deliver (smart answers) when the time comes. I ask Him to help me learn for the exam and for my training (yes, there IS a slight difference *glare*). I pray and I work hard and every step of the way I remember His Favors upon me, I’m a better person than my usual self. I pray for success in my field of medicine and that whatever I’m learning is of help to me eventually.
Then exam season starts, I make mistakes in the paper, my logic gets thrown out of the window more times than one during it and I kick myself for making silly mistakes like that, my interactive vivas run shivers down my spine and the stress makes me commit errors of omission and errors of sheer stupidity.
Then after what seems like ages, my exams end and I breathe sighs of relief and wait eagerly for my result because you see, I prayed for it. Result comes and it’s not shockingly great, but still pretty good and I start thinking about the hard work I put in, the “strategies” I used this time around, the smart answers I gave, I thank the few teachers who helped me learn and remember, the friends who explained certain concepts to me… and THEN, I thank Allah for getting me through it. Shirk shirk shirk. Tsk tsk tsk.
I don’t know whether it’s my ego working to relate my “success” to my efforts and nobody else; or logic to explain to myself how I did what I did; or forgetfulness of the times I asked Him to get me through it… what I do know is, I have to admit to the true nature of things and thank Him for His Favors, for delivering me safely to the shores. When I can find time to remember Him when I’m truly struggling (with things other than exams also), then I can surely give credit where it’s due. Everything and everybody else just become the means for Him to provide for me.