Safar 28, 1431
“And when they are told: “Spend of that which Allah has provided to you for utilization.” Those who commit kufr (deny Him) say about those who believe in Him: “Should we feed those whom Allah would feed if He so wished? Where are you besides being clearly in delusion?”.”
Surah Ya Seen (Surah 36), verse 47
How many times has this argument been given already?? Why has God created evil if He’s pure? Why are there hungry people if God is a Provider? Why do people suffer if He is Merciful? Why isn’t everybody a believer if He is Powerful? Why do good things happen to bad people and bad things to good if He is Just?
To be honest, I don’t understand these discrepancies myself, but what I do know is, I don’t know anything, I don’t know His Wisdom, and I haven’t spent time researching things that Allah Says and Commands.
If I were to reflect just on this particular line though, I understand that I have to still feed the poor, the same poor people I suspect of scamming me, utilize the same money on them that I was thinking of spending on a dumb movie; I have to still provide my shoulder for somebody to cry on if the need be, while I feel lonely about my miseries; I have to still maintain my integrity even if I see nobody else does; I have to still maintain a sense of decorum as a girl even if see the standards stooping as low as they now do; and I have to trust Him for every word that I read.
May Allah guide me and make me stronger. I feel useless, powerless, frustrated, obstinate and hypocritical… and I need His help more than ever to come out of my delusions.